Tips for a Productive Parent Teacher Conference

Start on a positive note. Acknowledge something the teacher has done that you really appreciated, or your child really liked.

Try to use open ended questions. Ask, “How is Johnny doing in Reading?” instead of, “Why did Johnny get a D on his Reading test?”. This approach will provide much more information and will not make the teacher feel defensive.

Ask about what formal assessments have been completed and if your child is on grade level on those assessments.

Do not ask about another child in class. Teachers are not able to discuss other students with you, just as they cannot discuss your child with another parent.

If there is friction between your child and another in the class, ask how that friction is being addressed.

Ask for suggestions about what you can do at home to support your child.

Ask what the teacher’s communication procedures are so you know what information to expect and when.

If your child is struggling, try to keep an open mind and listen to what the teacher has to say. This is important information that you need to know, even though it is difficult to hear that your child is struggling, whether academically or behaviorally (As parents, we often blame ourselves for their struggles!). Although there are unfortunate exceptions, the vast majority of teachers truly have your child’s best interests at heart and are trying to help.

If your child is struggling academically, ask the teacher to reduce the amount of work required. For example, can Susie do 10 math problems instead of 20? Most teachers will be open to this intervention and they can collect data to show whether this change helps.

If your child is doing really well academically, ask what enrichment opportunities are available.

Although it is difficult to share personal information, it is vital that your child’s teacher is aware of difficulties going on at home. Share if there is a death in the family, a divorce, loss of job, relevant medical diagnosis, etc. Teachers can only do their best for your child if they have all the relevant information.